Pretend you are a marriage counsellor that is giving advice to a couple that has a great deal of destructive quarrels. You instruct them that if managed constructively, conflict can provide opportunities for reconciliation and more genuine harmony. Based on the work of Gotlib and Colby (1988), you give the couple a list of "Do's" and "Do Not's." Identify 5 of the 8 recommendations for each column (i.e., 5 things to do, 5 things to avoid).

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Pretend you are a marriage counsellor that is giving advice to a couple that has a great deal of destructive quarrels. You instruct them that if managed constructively, conflict can provide opportunities for reconciliation and more genuine harmony. Based on the work of Gotlib and Colby (1988), you give the couple a list of "Do's" and "Do Not's." Identify 5 of the 8 recommendations for each column (i.e., 5 things to do, 5 things to avoid).



Do not: apologize prematurely, bring in unrelated issues, feign agreement while harbouring resentment, tell the other party how they are feeling, use your intimate knowledge of the other person to hit below the belt and humiliate

Do: fight privately away from kids, divulge your positive and negative feelings, welcome feedback about your behaviour, offer positive suggestions for mutual improvement, wait for spontaneous explosions to subside, without retaliating


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