What are three keys to maintaining close relationships?

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What are three keys to maintaining close relationships?



What is it that makes a relationship last? Like many things, when humans are involved it is complicated. We do have some good insights, though.

1. Attachment:

Work with children has shown that having a secure attachment with a caregiver leads to positive outcomes. Your book explains attachment, and this video provides insight into the basics of the research supporting this model:


2. Equity:

Both partners need to perceive the relationship as equitable in order to achieve relationship satisfaction. In other words, you have to perceive that you are getting out of the relationship what you put in. If one partner feels they are doing all of the hard work, dissatisfaction is likely.

3. Self-Disclosure:

Another important element for relationship satisfaction is self-disclosure and disclosure reciprocity: we expect that if we tell someone intimate details about ourselves that they will reciprocate. This happens gradually over the length of a relationship - we likely don't feel very comfortable disclosing too much information on the first date.

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